When I start out to make a fool of myself...
...there's very little can stop me.
If I'd known where it would end, I'd have never let anything start.
If I'd been in my right mind, that is.
But once I'd seen her...
...I was not in my right mind for quite some time.
"Good evening," said I, thinking myself a very gay dog indeed.
But here was a beautiful girl...
...and me with plenty of time to get myself into trouble.
Some people can smell danger.
Not me.
I asked her if she'd have a cigarette.
It's me last one, so please don't disappoint me.
But I don't smoke.
That's how I found her.
And from that moment on, I did not use my head very much...
...except to be thinking of her.
But in the park in those days...
...the rough young fellas used to be staging holdups.
Help! Help!
These young fellas were not professionals.
That's the reason...
...why I start out in this story a little bit like a hero.
Which I most certainly am not.
The cabdriver woke up, he was okay...
...so I borrowed his carriage to drive the lady home.
In a while she recovered herself and brightened up...
...what with the things I told her to get her mind off the scare...
...and to set her thinking as well of the brave fella that had rescued her.
Rosalie.
Fair Rosalie. It's a name I'm after calling you. Why not?
It's a gorgeous, romantic little name entirely.
- I'm Michael, a poor sailor... - You're a character.
...with the princess of Central Park riding along at his side.
I want to know where does the princess come from?
I don't know why she should tell you but....
Well, her parents were Russian, quite Russian.
You never heard of the place she's from.
- Would Your Highness care to gamble? - She's done it for a living.
I bet you I've been to the place you were born.
- Cheefoo. - It's on the China coast.
It's the second wickedest city.
- What's the first? - Macao.
- I worked there. - You worked in Macao?
Here's your dollar. How about Shanghai? I worked there too.
- As a gambler? - Well....
Hope you were luckier than tonight.
You need more than luck in Shanghai.
- Do you know what? - What?
I bet I could drive the cart from down there inside with you.
There's a police car on the other road.
We best get out of the park. It's too simple for the cops to find us.
You don't like them.
The cops struggle along without our doing their work for them.
Watch where you're going! Get that nag out of here!
Now the cops are bound to pick us up.
We'd best leave the cab here and walk.
- You don't like the police. - I do not.
My car's right there in the garage, anyway.
Tell me, Michael, is there some reason why the police don't like you?
Well, they never put me in jail in America.
You know, the nicest jails are in Australia, the worst are in Spain.
What law did you break in Spain?
I killed a man.
Just now you almost killed a girl.
Is there a law against that?
Try it, you won't like the jails.
They put you in jail for murder? I didn't think so.
A man killed his wife in Frisco last week.
She'd gone to the icebox for supper.
He thought she was a burglar, he said. He shot her five times in the head.
- He had a good lawyer. - Evidently. I saw his picture.
- Bainbridge. - Bannister.
Arthur Bannister. It said he's the world's greatest criminal lawyer.
- Some people think he is. - Here's your car.
Send the bill to my husband.
If you're a sailor, there's a job for you. Would you like to work for me?
I'd like it.
I'm shipping out tomorrow.
So are we! To the West Coast, by way of the Canal.
We're short a man on the crew.
I'll make it worth your while.
Could it be this you're looking for?
You were smart to carry a gun, traveling alone in the park...
...but if you knew you had the gun in your bag, why throw away the bag?
I meant for you to find it. I don't know how to shoot.
It's easy.
You just pull the trigger.
Some dame, ain't she?
Yeah. And some car.
Evening, Mr. Grisby.
Mr. Bannister sent it all the way from San Francisco.
So she could have it here.
- Bannister? - Arthur Bannister, himself.
Gee, some guys have all the luck.
Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband.
If she'll fool a husband, I figure she'll fool me.
New York is not as big as it pretends to be...
...so I spent the next day in the hiring hall...
...waiting for a ship.
That way, big boob that I am...
...I thought I could escape her.
S.S. American Trader....
Cigarettes will stunt your growth. Come here!
Excuse me.
I wonder if you could help me locate a Mr. O'Hara.
Michael O'Hara.
Mike O'Hara?
You mean Black Irish that talks fancy?
- I don't know him myself but-- - Black Irish?
Yeah, I know him. Joe, call Mike O'Hara, a guy here wants to see him.
Michael O'Hara, please step to the bulletin board.
A man wants to see you.
- Shipmates? - We was in Spain together.
They started calling him Black Irish after what he did to finks back in '39.
Mike's got blarney, but he can hurt a man when he gets mad.
You were asking for me?
- O'Hara? - O'Hara.
You're what they call an able-bodied seaman?
That's what they call it.
- You ever work on a yacht? - No.
- I presume you can handle a speedboat. - I presume so.
Do you drink?
I beg your pardon?
I asked you if you drink.
Whatever's set in front of me. Doesn't have to be wholesome, just strong.
Do you drink habitually?
May I ask, mister, if you're extending an invitation?
I guess it might as well be.
If you'll show me to the nearest bar...
...we'll sit down and discuss your coming to work for me.
My name is Bannister.
Bannister.
Me boys, may I present Mr. Arthur Bannister.
The world's greatest criminal lawyer.
- This is Jake Bjoronson and... - Hi.
...Goldie, right?
Hi, I'm Goldfish--
Mr. Bannister's wife sent him to get me, isn't that right, Mr. Bannister?
Now, Mr. Bannister is gonna buy us all a few drinks...
...while I entertain myself by refusing to go to work for him.
You know, Mike saved my wife's life.
Here, would you mind inserting these coins? Number four.
That's all we like to hear.
Mike's quite a hero.
Quite a tough guy.
Mister, there ain't no such thing.
No such thing as...
...tough guy?
What's a tough guy?
I don't know.
A guy with an edge.
What makes him sing better than me? Something in here.
What makes it loud? A microphone. That's his edge.
- Edge? - A gun, a nightstick or a razor.
Something the other guy ain't got.
An extra reach on a punch, instead of brass knuckles, a stripe on a sleeve...
...a badge that says "cop" on it, a rock in your hand...
...or a bankroll in your pocket.
That's an edge, brother.
Without an edge, there ain't no tough guy.
- You hear that, Black Irish? - It's true.
Well...
...bear it in mind.
Yeah, but what makes him sing prettier than you?
Naturally, someone had to take Mr. Bannister home.
I told myself I couldn't leave a helpless man...
...lying unconscious in a saloon.
Well, it was me that was unconscious...
...and he was exactly as helpless as a sleeping rattlesnake.
Say, it's nice of you, Michael, to be so nice to me while I was so drunk.
Lover!
I wasn't sure you'd come.
I'm not staying.
You've got to stay.
Lover!
It's gonna be a real nice cruise.
First, the Panama Canal, then up the Mexican coast.
We need a boatswain, Danny-boy. Ever done any sailing?
A bit of it. I saw you last night at the garage.
Somebody else, Danny-boy.
Not me.
Don't go.
She needs you bad.
You stay.
If you play your cards right, we can get a job for the both of us.
I think we'll take it.
And what was I, Mike O'Hara, doing on a luxury yacht...
...pleasure-cruising in the sunny Caribbean Sea?
Well, it's clear now, I was chasing a married woman.
But that's not the way I wanted to look at it. No.
To be a real prize fathead like Mike O'Hara...
...you've got to swallow all the lies you can think up to tell yourself.
Our little expedition spent some weeks in the West Indies.
Dawdling around, seeing the sights, laying in supplies...
...and getting into more trouble.
Hi!
Hi, onboard the Cerce!
You there!
Why don't you go swimming?
I beg your pardon?
I say, why don't you go swimming?
I didn't bring a swimming suit along on the job, sir.
You ought to the next time.
There won't be a next time. I'm quitting.
My trunks ought to fit you.
You'll find them in the locker.
I suppose you're wondering who I am.
I saw you in New York.
I flew in this morning, by way of Havana.
I'm George Grisby, you know. Grisby & Bannister.
- Where is everybody, gone ashore? - Almost everybody.
My partner too? Mr. Bannister?
That's right.
And the lady?
Oh....
Mr. Bannister tells me you once killed a man.
- You are Michael, aren't you? - That's right.
I'm very interested in murders.
Forgive me if I seem inquisitive...
- ...but where'd it happen? - At Murcia.
How'd you do it?
No, let me guess.
You did it with your hands, didn't you?
Does it ever bother you when you think about it?
What did he do to you?
Nothing.
You just killed him for the fun of it, eh?
He was a Franco spy. There was a war at the time.
Then it wasn't murder, I suppose.
Tell me, would you do it again?
Would you mind killing another man?
I'd kill another Franco spy.
I was on a pro-Franco committee, fella, during the Spanish War.
Would you kill me if I gave you the chance?
I may give you the chance.
Michael!
Before Li went ashore, did he make lunch?
- Yes, ma'am. - Is there enough for two?
I don't know. Why don't you ask Mrs. Bannister?
You ask her.
Would you like a good paste in the eye?
I wish she'd asked me to go swimming.
She'll ask you.
You wait and see.
Will you help me?
Give me a cigarette.
I'm learning to smoke now.
Ever since that night in the park...
...I've been getting the habit.
Do all rich women play games like this?
Call me Rosalie.
- I didn't think you would do that. - I didn't either.
You're scared, aren't you?
You're scared.
I'm scared too.
Methinks you needed me to help you.
Sure, if you need anything, you help yourself.
I'm not what you think I am.
I just try to be like that.
Keep on trying...
...you might make it.
Oh, Michael.
What are we scared of?
So long, kiddies!
Now he knows about us.
I wish I did.
Bye-bye!
Michael.
Yes, sir.
Mr. Grisby has just told me something...
...I'm very sorry to hear.
Lover, this concerns you more than anyone else.
Don't take your arms...
...away
According to George here, Michael is anxious to quit.
Comes a change in weather
- Did you know about that, lover? - No, I didn't.
Shut up, George. What's the matter, the hours too long?
- No, sir. - How about the money?
I don't care about that.
Money doesn't interest you. Are you independently wealthy?
I'm independent.
Of money?
Before you start that novel, you better learn something.
You traveled around the world too much to find out about it.
That's good.
Well, sir...
...I've always found it sanitary to be broke.
That's good too, Arthur.
Shut up, George.
Money cannot bring you health and happiness, et cetera, is that it?
Without money, I'd be flat on my back in a county hospital.
Look at this yacht. It once belonged to Jules Bachrach...
...who kept me out of his club because my mother was a Manchester Greek.
I got him on perjury.
He died bankrupt, and here I am.
George.
- Each has his idea of happiness... - Light this for me.
I've got no match.
...but money is what all of us have in common.
Take Bessie, here. She used to work for Bachrach.
- I pay her more, don't I? - Yes, Mr. Bannister.
Her salary means happiness.
It means a home.
Three rooms for two families.
She's a grandmother and a widow and only one boy works.
- Isn't that right? - Yes.
Yes, of course it is.
So Bessie goes to church every Sunday...
...and prays to God she'll never be too old to earn the salary I pay her.
You call yourself independent.
- Come and see me five years from now. - Aye-aye, sir.
Sing it for us again, lover.
Why do you stand for that? I'm quitting. Why don't you?
You heard him, I need the money!
Talk of money and murder. I must be insane...
...or these people are lunatics.
That's why I can't leave.
That poor little child he married...
...somebody's got to take care of her.
Please don't hold me
But if you hold me
Don't take your arms
Away
Comes a change in weather
Comes a change of heart
And who knows when
The rain will start
So I beg you
Please don't love me
But if you love me
Then don't take your lips
Or your arms
Or your love
Away
Rub
Rub Glosso Lusto in your hair
Keep it Glosso Lusto bright
G-L-O double-S-O L-U-S-T-O
Is right Glosso Lusto
So remember, ladies, use Glosso Lusto.
Pleases your hair.
Pleases the man you love.
Will you help me?
Love. Do you believe in love at all, Mrs. Bannister?
Give me the wheel.
I was taught to think about love in Chinese.
The way a Frenchman thinks about laughter in French?
The Chinese say...
...it is difficult for love to last long...
...therefore, one who loves passionately...
...is cured of love in the end.
That's a hard way of thinking.
There's more to the proverb.
Human nature is eternal...
...therefore, one who follows his nature...
...keeps his original nature in the end.
Lover.
Yes.
Aren't you glad I talked Michael into coming along...
...lover?
He must've changed his mind about me.
Faith, Mr. Bannister. I've already told your wife...
...I never make up my mind about anything at all...
...until it's over and done with.
I'd like to, but I can't deny that Mr. Bannister...
...didn't try to give his wife the things she wanted.
She'd said once that she liked picnics.
We were on our way up the Mexican coast...
...when he decided to stop and give her one.
Well, Mr. Bannister's picnic party...
...was most typical of him.
A lot of trouble and money went into it...
...but it was no more a picnic...
...than Bannister was a man.
When you hear what I got for you--
Sid, we've worked many cases. I'll be sorry to make this one the last.
- This is-- - There's a plot against my life.
I'm going to be murdered. Isn't that it?
I'm going to be killed.
Why, Sid, don't you think I know about it?
All about it!
Now leave me alone!
I want to enjoy myself.
Michael!
I found out about Broome. I tried to tell you, he isn't a steward.
- Not a good one. - He's a detective.
My husband hires him to watch me, so I'll never be able to divorce him.
- So he can divorce you. - He wants to cut me off without a cent.
Does that matter so much?
Sweet, you don't know anything about the world.
Lately, I've been rounding out my education.
I'll say this much for you, Arthur. When you give a picnic, it's a picnic.
Time for another?
- Arthur. - Time for another.
- You know what? Michael still insists-- - What?
I beg your pardon?
I said what.
Michael still insists on quitting.
- Why shouldn't he? - Oh, no.
- Arthur ought to make him stay. - If he wants to go, let him.
But George likes to have him around, lover.
Michael's so big and strong. Makes a good bodyguard for you.
Isn't that what you said, George?
I don't need a bodyguard.
- Not even a big, strong one? - Don't make another drink.
- With an Irish brogue? - He's had enough.
George thinks Michael's falling for you, and that makes me unhappy.
George hopes...
...but George is wrong again.
Now, Arthur....
- I didn't say anything about them. - Make me another drink, George.
Another Grisby special, coming up.
You know, you're a stupid fool, George.
You ought to realize I don't mind it a bit if Michael's in love with my wife.
He's young.
She's young.
He's strong.
She's beautiful.
Sit down, darling.
Where's your sense of humor?
I don't have to listen to you.
Oh, yes you do, lover.
Now, Arthur...
...you leave Elsa alone.
Come to think of it...
...why doesn't Michael want to work for us?
Why should he?
Why should anyone want to live around us?
Where's your sense of adventure?
Broome!
- Excuse me, sir, he's eating. - Tell Michael to step over here.
Aye, sir.
Hey, Mike, they want to see you over there, Mr. Bannister and them.
Well, Michael!
Well, Mr. Bannister?
My wife's lost her sense of humor, and you've lost your sense of adventure.
Sit down and have a drink. Give him a drink, George.
And don't look so shocked.
Michael may not be in the Social Register, but then neither are you...
...anymore.
Is this what you folks do for amusement?
Sit around toasting marshmallows and call each other names?
If you're so anxious for me to join the game, I'd be glad to.
I have a few names I'd like to be calling you myself.
Oh, but, Michael, that isn't fair.
You're bound to lose the contest.
We'll have to give you a handicap, Michael.
You should know what George knows about me...
...if you really want to call me names.
And, Michael...
...if you think George's story is interesting...
...you ought to hear the one about how Elsa got to be my wife.
Do you want me to tell him what you've got on me, Arthur?
Do you know...
...once, off the hump of Brazil...
...I saw the ocean so darkened with blood it was black...
...and the sun fainting away over the lip of the sky.
We'd put in at Fortaleza...
...and a few of us had lines out for a bit of idle fishing.
It was me had the first strike.
A shark it was.
Then there was another.
And another shark again.
Till all about, the sea was made of sharks...
...and more sharks still.
And no water at all.
My shark had torn himself from the hook...
...and the scent or maybe the stain it was, and him bleeding his life away...
...drove the rest of them mad.
Then the beasts took to eating each other.
In their frenzy...
...they ate at themselves.
You could feel the lust of murder like a wind stinging your eyes.
And you could smell the death reeking up out of the sea.
I never saw anything worse...
...until this little picnic tonight.
And you know...
...there wasn't one of them sharks in the whole crazy pack that survived.
I'll be leaving you now.
George, that's the first time...
...anyone ever thought enough of you to call you a shark.
If you were a good lawyer, you'd be flattered.
- Where's Mrs. Bannister? - I'm sure I don't know, sir.
- She adores it here in Acapulco. - So do I--
It's nice and quaint, but when are we gonna get back to Frisco?
Mind walking with me, fella?
I know all the best places. You might enjoy it.
I want to make you a proposition.
- Beautiful, isn't it? - The beach, you mean, or the tourists?
Everything.
'Tis a fair face to the land...
...but you can't hide the hunger and guilt.
It's a bright, guilty world.
Darling, of course you pay me!
What's your guess, Michael?
Think the world's coming to an end?
There was a start to the world, so I guess there'll be a stop.
It's coming, you know.
Oh, yeah.
It's got to come.
First the big cities...
...then maybe even this.
It's just got to come.
I prefer to be somewhere else when it does.
I will be.
That's what I need you for, to see to it that I'm not around.
- How'd you like $5000? - What?
That's what I said. $5000, fella.
What do I have to do for it?
I'll fill in the details later. Meanwhile, think it over, Michael.
Five thousand dollars.
It's yours.
All you have to do is kill somebody.
Who, Mr. Grisby?
I'm particular who I murder.
Good boy!
You know...
...I wouldn't like to kill just anybody.
- Is it someone I know? - Oh, yeah.
But you'll never guess.
- I give up. - It's me.
I'm perfectly sober, Michael.
I'm willing to pay $5000 if the job is well done.
This is a straightforward business proposition.
I want you to kill me.
So long, fella!
Elsa!
- Michael? - Yes.
- You talked to George yesterday? - I did.
- Did he say anything about us? - He's afraid the world will explode.
He talked about suicide.
I've thought of that sometimes.
Suicide?
Do you think it's wrong, Michael?
I don't know.
Would you kill yourself if you had to?
I don't know.
- I've looked at the pills many times-- - Pills?
The ones my husband takes to kill the pain.
And wondered if enough of them would kill my pain.
The pain of just being alive?
Mr. Grisby wants to be cured of that pain. He wants me to cure him.
Mr. Grisby wants me to kill Mr. Grisby.
- I'm sure he's out of his mind. - He's not sane.
- Neither is Arthur. - Arthur can take care of himself.
- What do you want? - Beautiful moon.
Nice night for it, ain't it, Mr. O'Hara?
You didn't answer me, Mr. O'Hara.
Speak when you're spoken to.
I'd hate to have to report you to the lady's husband.
I said it's a nice night for it.
Would you care to dance with me?
Stop crying. I can't stand for you to cry.
- You know what Broome's been doing? - Spying.
Spying on you.
Sure I'm gonna take you where there aren't any spies.
- Where? - A long way off.
- Somewhere to the far places. - Far places?
We're in one of them now. Running away doesn't work. I tried it.
Everything's bad, Michael.
Everything.
You can't escape it or fight it. Get along with it.
Deal with it. Make terms.
You're such a foolish knight errant, Michael.
You're big and strong.
You just don't know how to take care of yourself.
So how could you take care of me?
Mike! Hey, Mike!
If you'll pardon me this intrusion...
- ...there's a couple of cops out here. - Cops?
I don't speak their language.
And they wants me to identify this guy.
What's the Spanish for "drunken bum"?
It was early October when we made San Francisco...
...and dropped anchor across the bay from the city, in Sausalito.
It had been a most interesting cruise.
All very rich and rare and strange.
But I had had no stomach for it.
To begin with, living on a hook takes away your appetite.
You've no taste for any pleasure but the one that's burning in you.
But even without an appetite...
...I'd learned it's quite amazing how much a fool like me can swallow.
Please, Michael, be careful.
The car's down there.
Mr. Bannister's waiting to take you into the city...
...to San Francisco, but you're not going with him.
You're going with me.
Michael....
I can take care of you.
You think I'd take you to a desert island to eat berries and goat's milk.
And I'd have to take in washing to support you.
Hello, kiddies.
There's George.
What would you say to $5000 to get us started?
We've got a date with a couple of beers, fella.
Arthur was asking for you.
He'd wondered where you'd gone.
I won't tell him.
- You didn't answer my question. $5000? - Goodbye, Michael.
Couldn't we start on that?
Would you have to take in washing on $5000?
Sit down.
I suppose you wonder what's behind my little proposition.
None of your business, actually, but since we're partners in crime...
...I'll tell you, our firm's insured against the death of either partner.
That means if one of us dies, the other will get a lot of money.
- Thanks. Now, leave us alone. - Yes, sir.
Like some other people we both know, I'm not very happily married.
And another thing, frankly...
...I don't want to be within 1000 miles of that city or any city...
...when they start dropping those bombs.
There's been a suggestion we drive you into town.
Want a beer before you go?
I'll be waiting with Mrs. Bannister in the car.
Better meet me in my office. Make it late tonight.
What for?
$5000.
That'll take a girl and a sailor on a nice little trip.
- I'll meet you at your office. - Do.
There's a paper I'd like you to sign.
It's nothing very binding or important, really.
Just a confession of murder.
Here's to crime.
She say meet you at aquarium. 9:00, before people there.
The aquarium?
Oh, uh...
...if you ever need a good lawyer, Michael...
...let me know.
"I, Michael O'Hara, in order to live in peace with my God...
...do freely make the following confession. On August 9th..."
That's tomorrow night.
"...I shot and killed Mr. George Grisby...
...placing his corpse in the Sausalito Bay."
Just a minute.
What you're reading, am I supposed to have written it?
It's your confession.
It's the easiest 5000 you're ever gonna earn.
Why don't you do it yourself?
Commit suicide? Me? Don't be silly.
Suicide is against the law. And we're not gonna break the law.
This is going to be murder, and it's going to be legal.
I want to live, but I want to vanish.
I want to go away and change my name and never be heard of again.
But that costs money. It isn't easy nowadays.
If they're looking, they'll find you.
Unless they think you're dead.
They'll find you even on the smallest island in the South Seas.
That's where I'm going to be, fella.
On that smallest island.
I'll mail the rest to you after the "murder."
But I want to live on that island in peace.
That won't be possible unless the world is satisfied I don't exist.
You know, the law's a funny thing, fella.
The state of California will say I'm dead...
...officially dead...
...if somebody'll say they murdered me.
That's what I'm paying you for.
- To murder you? - Say you did.
- What happens to you, really? - I disappear.
- What happens to me? - Nothing.
That's the choker.
You swear you killed me, but you can't be arrested.
That's the law. Look it up for yourself.
There's no such thing as homicide...
...unless they find a corpse.
It just isn't murder if they don't find a body.
According to the law...
...I'm dead if you say you murdered me.
But you're not a murderer unless I'm dead.
Silly, isn't it?
I've never seen an aquarium.
Would you show me about?
I couldn't think where else we could meet.
- Only tourists come here and children. - And lovers?
- Oh, Michael. - Fair Rosalie.
- Love me? - I do.
Do you still want to take me away with you?
Why do you ask me that?
Will you carry me off into the sunrise?
I'll take proper care of you. You won't starve.
I don't care where it is, Michael.
Just take me there.
Take me quick.
Take me.
- Come on, come on. - Can't I look? I want to see.
I don't want you to worry--
- I am. - I have arrangements--
The things you said yesterday about money.
You didn't sound like you.
You're not going to try anything foolish, are you?
I'm afraid so. Something very foolish indeed.
"I, Michael O'Hara, in order to live in peace with my God...
...do freely make the following confession."
Read the last part. That explains the whole of it.
"We arrived at the boat landing. Mr. Grisby heard a suspicious sound.
He was scared of a holdup and asked me to get the gun out of the car.
I reached in and got the gun, but it went off by accident in my hand.
And I saw that Mr. Grisby was all covered with blood.
It took me a minute to realize that Mr. Grisby was dead.
To realize that I, Michael O'Hara, had killed him."
But I don't understand. What were you doing with George in Sausalito?
It says Mr. Grisby wants to go to the yacht and asks me to drive him there.
And that's where I kill him.
With the rough tide in the bay...
...they wouldn't recover the body if there was one.
You don't understand, darling.
He isn't dead yet. Grisby's alive.
He won't be murdered till tonight. Is that foolish enough for you?
My husband wrote that and got you to sign it for him.
It's one of those famous Bannister tricks.
It's Grisby's idea. It seems Mr. Grisby wants to disappear.
And this is a scheme of his to get himself declared dead.
There's more to it than that, Michael. I don't know what, but there's more.
It's a trap of some kind.
You'll meet George tonight, just as he arranged.
Go with him to Sausalito and do whatever he asks you to do.
As long as nobody gets hurt, it won't matter.
But don't let him out of your sight.
Maybe George isn't as big a fool as he seems to be, but...
...I'll swear my husband's behind this whole thing.
Oh, Michael, why did you let yourself get dragged into it?
Sure because I'm a fool. A deliberate, intentional fool.
And that's the worst kind, or didn't you know?
Yes, my beloved. My beloved fool, I know.
I don't think anybody's home, just Broome.
Mr. Bannister's in the city, and Mrs. Bannister went to the movies.
Better wait for me in the kitchen.
Make some coffee. We'll both need it.
I've got things to attend to.
Well?
I wonder, am I the only one that's onto you and her?
Nobody else seems to guess you're sweet on her.
That ought to be worth extra.
- I'll throw it in for the same price. - What are you selling?
I can shut up, that's what I'm selling.
You see, I'm a snoopy kind of a guy.
I find things out.
I get around.
I got around one afternoon in Sausalito.
I overheard a conversation in Mexico.
I found out about a little plot of yours.
You wouldn't want me to say nothing about you framing Michael.
Frame him for a murder you're committing.
Let's talk it over tomorrow, huh?
When you'll be playing dead and somebody else is really dead?
No, thanks, Mr. Grisby. We'll settle our account right now.
All right, Broome...
...if you insist.
- What are you doing? - Oh, hello.
I'm sorry. You drive.
Were you shooting a gun?
Yeah, I was just doing a little target practice.
That's what you'll say when you shoot the gun, down by the boat landing.
People come out of the bar to see what happened...
...you'll say, "I was just doing a little target practice."
Really, you're supposed to have shot me.
Later, when nobody's looking, you're supposed...
...to have thrown my corpse into the bay.
Look out!
Hey, what happened back there?
Anybody hurt?
- Kind of banged it up. - It's our fault, I'm afraid.
- Here's my card, for the damage. - Looks like you've got damage.
- Your head's cut bad. - It's okay, really.
- It's all right, good night. - Well, good night, Mr. Grisby.
- Did he get a good look at us? - What?
Truck driver, I mean.
- He'll make a good witness. - What?
He'll testify he saw us just before the murder.
Broome, are you ill?
I got some lead in me where it hurts.
- I'll call a doctor. - Did already.
The trouble is, the doc will report to the police.
They'll want to know who was the certain party who shot me.
Don't worry, he'll get his.
There's gonna be a murder.
Ain't no fake murder. Somebody's gonna be killed.
You mean...?
- Your husband's gonna be knocked off. - What?
Could be.
You'd better get down to his office, if you want to do anything about it.
- What are you doing? - Getting blood all over the car.
My blood.
It's perfect. If you shot me, there would be blood, fella, see.
Now, when you get back to the garage...
...start washing out the blood stains. You're wiping out the evidence, see.
Be careful not to do such a good job that they can't analyze the stains.
Just try to wash that out.
Get the gun from the glove compartment.
Good. Come on now, let's go.
Let the ones in the bar get a good look at you.
They'll ask about the shooting.
Just say you're doing a little target practice.
Wait until the speedboat gets away.
- Understand? - Where are you going?
Give me that cap.
- What are you laughing at? - Wait and see.
Why don't people let some people get some sleep?
Somebody said they heard a shot.
Hey, what's with the gun?
I was just doing a little target practice.
- Where you going now? - Is he drunk?
He's soused!
San Rafael-- San Rafael, please.
Hello, I want to speak to Mrs. Bannister.
What?
It's me. Broome.
Get down to the office. Montgomery Street.
You was framed.
Grisby didn't want to disappear. He just wanted an alibi.
And you're it.
You're the fall guy.
Grisby's gone down there to kill Bannister now.
Hello!
Stop that car!
Stop the car!
Am I too late?
- Why don't you save Bannister? - Who?
- Who are you? - Hey, that's blood, ain't it?
- Sure, it's blood. - It's all over the seat.
Will you let go of me?
- Give us your name! - Michael O'Hara!
I want to know about Mr. Bannister!
"I, Michael O'Hara, in order to live at peace with my God--"
Yes, Michael?
- You were asking for me? - Pardon me.
"--do freely make the following confession...
...on the evening of August 9th, I shot and killed George Grisby."
You weren't killed. It was Grisby.
Hello, darling. Have you heard the news?
George has been murdered.
He was found here on the street with Michael's cap in his hand.
Michael is going to need a good lawyer.
Well, it's my own fault...
...but that's how I got into it, big boob that I am.
I began to ask myself if I wasn't out of my head entirely.
The wrong man was arrested.
The wrong man was shot.
Grisby was dead and so was Broome.
And what about Bannister?
He was going to defend me in a trial for my life.
And me charged with a couple of murders I did not commit.
Either me or the rest of the whole world is absolutely insane.
You know my associate Mr. Sealy, dear. He's arranged for your jail pass.
It's in this building. Shall he take you?
- I'll go by myself. - Sealy, I'll join you in the office.
Okay, Mr. Bannister. Excuse me, Mrs. Bannister.
You want to be alone with Michael.
- It's your idea. - Morning, Bannister.
Morning, judge. Your boy still in the hospital?
- Been home since Tuesday. - That's fine, judge.
- Was it-- - What's that, lover?
- Oh, I beg your pardon. - Wasn't it your idea?
Isn't it your idea to save Michael from the gas chamber?
- Aren't we the only ones who can? - What do you think? Galloway.
- Hi, Bannister. How's tricks? - You know our district attorney, dear.
- How do you do-- - Mrs. Bannister. Fasbender....
I was the murdered man's partner. The other was my servant.
If I defend Michael, any jury is going to figure I believe he's innocent.
And you have reason to believe that Michael is innocent?
I hear that Galloway is going to say...
...that Michael took George's body into the city in our speedboat.
- But we can prove-- - Prove? He couldn't have.
- Why not? - How'd he get back?
- Back where? - To the yacht, naturally.
The boat couldn't have driven itself.
Or maybe it was George's ghost. Maybe the boat just drifted back.
Now, lover...
...Michael has to plead excusable homicide.
But you can prove it wasn't his gun.
They know it wasn't Michael's gun that killed George.
The gun that did kill George can't be found, lover.
So we can't prove that Michael didn't shoot him.
And it was Michael's gun that killed Broome.
Now...
...Michael is going to need everything that the greatest...
...living trial lawyer can do for him.
Our good district attorney there has worked up a beautiful case.
The truck driver, the saloonkeeper. They'll be effective witnesses.
And he'll know how to handle them. And then there's the crazy confession.
But Michael has an explanation.
- Explanation? - You think it's funny.
Funny?
That story about how George hired Michael to kill George?
- To pretend to kill him. - Really?
Why would George want to disappear?
- He mentioned partnership insurance. - What?
- Partnership insurance. - Which George wanted to collect?
And George wanted everybody to think he was dead?
Dead, so that he could collect the insurance?
Well, if he was dead, how could he collect?
Now, lover...
...if your Irishman doesn't want to die, he's going to have to trust me.
But you...
...do you trust him?
I wouldn't trust him with my wife.
You want to make sure he doesn't get off, don't you?
I've never lost a case, remember?
Besides...
...my wife might think he was a martyr.
I've got to defend him.
I haven't any choice.
And neither have you.
Hello.
It looks bad for me, isn't that what your husband says?
Whatever else he is, Arthur's a marvelous lawyer.
You've got to trust him.
- Why? Why should I trust him? - Because it's your only chance.
Because I want you to.
That'll have to do for a reason.
Michael....
- Why did you kill Broome? - What?
Don't be afraid to tell me. I want to know.
Grisby killed Broome. He was going to murder your husband.
- George kill Arthur? - You know that.
What could he gain from it?
For one thing, he couldn't get a divorce.
If people thought he was dead, he could get away from his wife.
- Wife? But that's impossible. - Why?
George didn't have a wife.
He wasn't married.
Mrs. Bannister, I saved a seat for youse.
Would youse gentlemen please move over?
- Sit down. - I just wanted to look at her.
I object!
The question calls for the operation of the officer's mind.
Sustained.
Very well. In the interest of saving time, we'll proceed.
I'm sure Officer Peters is most anxious to go home...
...to his wife and family before returning to duty.
Now, Officer Peters, except for the blood, the clothes were dry.
- Yes, sir. - They were dry...
...yet the defendant stated he threw the body into the bay.
Your Honor, the district attorney isn't cross-examining, he's making speeches.
That isn't so.
I move for a mistrial on the grounds that the jury is being prejudiced.
These are the great Bannister's trial tactics in appeal for sympathy.
The D.A. is beginning to get vicious.
When you two gentlemen get over your argument, tell me who won.
Then I'll decide on the objection.
Objection sustained.
Your witness, Mr. Bannister.
No questions.
Except....
Yes.
Officer Peters...
...I don't wish to keep you from your wife and children...
...any more than the D.A. who was so concerned about them a moment ago.
But I would like to ask you one question.
Officer Peters, have you a wife and children?
Well...
...no.
Thank you. You may step down.
Call your next witness.
I call...
...Arthur Bannister.
It's unusual, Your Honor, to put a defense attorney on the witness stand...
...but I'm confident that my client will make no objection.
He can't make Bannister testify against his own client, can he?
Hey, what happened?
This keeps getting screwier all the time.
I wouldn't take this step if there were any more effective means...
...of establishing the evidence.
With my client's expressed permission....
Mr. Bannister will take the stand.
Never seen anything like that.
- I thought he was smart! - None smarter.
You ain't kidding.
Do you swear to tell...
...the truth and nothing but the truth...
- ...so help you God? - I do.
State your name.
Arthur Bannister.
Mr. Bannister...
...you are a member of the bar?
I am.
And have been for a number of years.
That is correct.
The defendant, Michael O'Hara, worked as a member of the crew of your yacht?
Yes.
Did he seem happy in his job?
I beg your pardon?
- You had your back turned-- - Did he seem happy in his job?
- Did you get that answer? - Reasonably so.
As a matter of fact, wasn't he threatening to quit?
Yes.
Did you know, Mr. Bannister, that right after the murders--
--right after the murders we found the defendant's bags packed...
...in readiness for an immediate departure?
In your experience as an attorney, would this not indicate...
...premeditation?
The district attorney's making speeches--
Premeditation and flight!
Making speeches and drawing conclusions.
- I am not drawing conclusions! - You are!
He is asking improper questions in order to influence the jury.
I must ask Your Honor to declare a mistrial.
Overruled.
Exception.
No further questions.
Would Your Honor kindly explain to the jury...
...that since the district attorney's put me in the position of a witness...
...that I am committed, as the defense attorney, to cross examine myself?
These are more of the persuasive Mr. Bannister's trial tactics.
The jury is so instructed.
Question:
Mr. Bannister, did the defendant say anything as to why he took the job?
Answer: Yes, Mr. Bannister.
Be reminded that Mr. Bannister had to go to the seamen's hiring hall...
...and use his persuasive powers to convince the defendant...
...to take the job. Question:
Can you think of anything else that is relevant to this inquiry?
Well, I found this boy to be clean-cut...
...courageous, resourceful, honest...
...hardworking. Question:
Mr. Bannister, please answer the question yes or no.
Can you think of anything else that is relevant to this issue?
Answer: No.
Very well. Thank you, Mr. Bannister.
You may step down.
Your Honor...
...I have a subpoena for a witness who's in the courtroom.
May I have the bailiff serve it?
Bailiff?
You will serve the subpoena.
I call Mrs. Arthur Bannister.
There's no law that says she has to take that, is there?
- Don't be silly, she's gotta take it. - Who says there is?
Sit down and mind your own business.
Raise your right hand.
Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth...
...the whole truth, so help you God?
- I do. - State your name.
Mrs. Arthur Bannister.
Mrs. Bannister...
...did you ever have guards to police your house...
...or the yacht on which you just cruised?
- No. - Why?
We never felt the need of it.
You have no children, have you?
I have no children.
You have no children.
So you were never concerned about kidnappers, is that correct?
That is correct.
There was a man employed in your house and on your husband's yacht named...
...Sidney Broome?
Yes.
You've known Mr. Broome for several years?
No.
Would it surprise you if I were to tell you that the detective...
...hired by your husband...
...in divorce cases was Sidney Broome?
The man you employed in your house as a butler...
...and on your husband's yacht, who was murdered?
- I object! - Does counsel deny--?
Overruled.
Does counsel deny...
...that Detective Broome is used by him in divorce cases?
Mrs. Bannister, can you think of any reason why your husband...
...would want to hire a divorce detective, other than to watch you?
I object!
Objection sustained.
As a matter of fact, didn't you and your husband argue about...
...your showing an infatuation for O'Hara?
We did not.
Isn't it a fact that the defendant O'Hara made advances to you...
...and told you he was infatuated with you?
He was very respectful.
Speak up, Mrs. Bannister.
He was very respectful.
And I think he was fond of me.
Just what is your definition of "fond," Mrs. Bannister?
You and Michael O'Hara have kissed each other, haven't you?
To name one occasion, you were seen in the aquarium...
...kissing each other!
Do you deny that?
No.
No further questions.
Your witness, Mr. Bannister.
No questions.
The State Department refused comment.
Here in San Francisco, the fate of Black Irish O'Hara...
...notorious agitator, whose trial for the murder of George Grisby...
...has held the front pages, remains undecided.
The jury, already out seven hours, has still returned no verdict.
The whole Black Irish case, according to....
How long do they take, usually?
Can't ever tell about a jury.
Excuse me, Your Honor.
Yes?
The jury's coming out now.
Oh, thank you, Officer McNaulty.
By the way...
...what has Elsa been telling you?
Or did you imagine that I didn't know she's been coming to see you?
- She asked me to trust you. - But you don't.
- The jury has reached its verdict. - Why?
Because I know you wanted me to be convicted.
Now that it's too late to do anything...
...I might as well tell you, this is one case I've enjoyed losing.
I'm coming to see you in the death house, Michael. Every day.
Our little visits will be great fun.
I'm going to ask for a stay of execution.
I really hope it'll be granted.
I want you to live as long as possible before you die.
You're talking kind of tough, aren't you, Mr. Bannister?
I've got an edge. I know you're going to the gas chamber.
Don't be so sure.
I know the killer.
I know who murdered Grisby.
Michael?
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do you have a verdict?
- We, the jury-- - Wait a minute!
Poison! Poison pills!
Bring him to my chambers!
Get that doctor!
I talked to the doctor. Said to keep him on his feet.
- We need help. - I can't hold this crowd by myself.
The way I understand it, he'll be all right if we keep him moving.
- I need help! - If he sleeps, he's done for.
Done for? Well!
I need two officers to control the crowd in my courtroom!
I'll try and get rid of the reporters.
You'll do no such thing! I'll see them. I'll see the reporters myself.
We have to prepare a statement.
That's it, keep him walking.
All right, Mr. Galloway.
No pictures, please!
Stay close together while I escort you out to dinner.
- It's him. - What can we do?
We gotta think of something.
That's another jury from another trial across there.
He's walking out with them!
The judge hopes you will arrive at a verdict as soon as possible.
That way! Come on.
My goodness! My window! My chessboard.
McNaulty! Officer Fishbein!
I expect a full report from you.
Get off the floor, Officer Fishbein.
- No pictures. - What happened?
That woman's too nice-looking to have stolen that jewelry.
Jury duty's such a responsibility, don't you think?
You were told not to talk about the case. Don't let it happen again.
Elsa!
Hello, Li?
Hello.
- Why did you do it? - I didn't. I'm not guilty.
Oh, the pills, you mean. The pills.
I saw you begging me to swallow. Begging me with your eyes.
You didn't mean for me to take them all. I held some back.
I took too many of the pills. I'm faint.
And now what?
Don't you know they'll catch you?
I've got to find that gun.
Gun? What gun?
The gun that killed Grisby. It'll prove I'm innocent.
Well, I phoned our servant Li.
We're trying to arrange something. Someplace to take you.
Just wait here quietly and watch the play.
The police.
Put your arms around me.
Don't move.
Don't you move.
I told you not to move. I mean it.
I found the gun.
You killed Grisby. Yes!
You're the killer.
I was right.
She was the killer. She killed Grisby.
Now she was going to kill me.
Li and his friends smuggled me out and hid me where I'd be safe from the cops.
Not safe from her.
One of the Chinese worked at an amusement park.
It was closed for the season. An empty amusement park makes a good hideout...
...and she wanted me hidden.
Well, I came to...
...in the crazy house.
And for a while there...
...I thought it was me that was crazy.
After what I'd been through, anything crazy at all...
...seemed natural.
But now I was sane on one subject. Her.
I knew about her.
She planned to kill Bannister.
She and Grisby.
Grisby was to do it for a share of Bannister's money.
That's what Grisby thought.
Of course she meant to kill Grisby too, after he'd served his purpose.
Poor howling idiot, he never even did that. He went and shot Broome.
And that was not part of the plan.
Broome might have got to the police before he died.
And if the cops traced it to Grisby and the cops made him talk...
...he'd spill everything...
...and she'd be finished. So she had to shut up Grisby, but quick.
And I was the fall guy.
In here. We're less likely to be heard.
I thought it was your husband you wanted to kill.
Why don't you try to understand?
George was supposed to take care of Arthur.
But he lost his silly head and shot Broome.
After that, I knew I couldn't trust him.
He was mad.
He had to be shot.
And what about me?
We could have gone off together.
Into the sunrise.
You and me? Or you and Grisby?
I love you.
One who follows his nature keeps his original nature in the end.
But haven't you heard ever of something better to follow?
No.
I knew I'd find you two together.
If I hadn't, Elsa, I might have gone on playing it your way.
You didn't know that...
...but you did plan for me to follow you.
You've been drinking.
I presume you think that if you murder me here...
...your sailor friend will get the blame.
You'll be free to spend my money.
Well, dear, you aren't the only one who wants me to die.
Our good friend, the district attorney...
...is just itching to open a letter that I left with him.
The letter tells all about you, lover.
So you'd be foolish to fire that gun.
With these mirrors it's difficult to tell.
You are aiming at me, aren't you?
I'm aiming at you, lover.
Of course, killing you is killing myself.
It's the same thing.
But you know, I'm pretty tired of both of us.
You know, for a smart girl, you make a lot of mistakes.
You should have let me live.
You're gonna need a good lawyer.
He and George...
...and now me!
Like the sharks, mad with their own blood.
Chewing away at their own selves.
It's true.
I made a lot of mistakes.
You said the world's bad and we can't run away from that.
You're right there.
But you said we can't fight it. We must deal with the badness, make terms.
And then the badness deal with you.
Make its own terms in the end, surely.
You can fight, but what good is it?
Goodbye.
You mean we can't win?
No, we can't win.
Give my love to the sunrise.
We can't lose either.
Only if we quit.
And you're not going to?
Not again.
Oh, Michael...
...I'm afraid.
Michael?
Come back here.
Michael?
Please!
I don't want to die!
I went to call the cops, but I knew she'd be dead before they got there.
And I'd be free.
Bannister's note to the D.A. fixed it. I'd be innocent, officially.
But that's a big word, innocent.
Stupid is more like it.
Well, everybody is somebody's fool.
The only way to stay out of trouble is to grow old.
So I guess I'll concentrate on that.
Maybe I'll live so long...
...that I'll forget her.
Maybe I'll die trying.